Close Call

It is no secret that I love people food, and I am willing to do almost anything to get it. Tonight the people were sitting in front of the tv, watching "Two And a Half Men" and eating Italian food that smelled just heavenly. Unfortunately for me, my nose pointed me toward the man once again, and he sat there taunting me with a calzone bigger than my body and stuffed with pepperoni, meatballs, sausage and three cheeses. I had one of two choices. I could have sat there and appealed to him with my blue steel look (check out my pic - boo yeah), or I could have taken him out once and for all. I would have chosen the latter, but I was unable to cause him to choke on one of the meatballs. I am also sad to report that I did indeed try blue steel, and for the first time ever, I was unsuccessful. The man is simply an enigma.

Like I said, I'll do almost anything for human food, but one thing I will not do is sacrifice my personal dignity. Tucker, however, has none whatsoever. In an attempt to secure some of the human food, the sharpherd, in all his wisdom, decided that sprinting around the living room in a circle like a three-legged, cross-eyed, rabid, retarded dingo on crack was just the thing to impress the man and earn a bite of the calzone. Worried the dim-witted man would fall for this, I attempted to interfere by stationing myself in the middle of the living room. Terrible mistake - I found myself amidst a hurricane of legs and almost became a casualty in the process. Luckily for me, I was able to dive under the coffee table and sneak back upon the couch as Tucker wound down and collapsed to the floor with a thump, trying to regain both his breath and any sense of dignity he had left. I am happy to report that his plan was once again a pathetic failure. Unfortunately for me, however, by that time the calzone had been consumed by the man, and all that was left was Pookie's walnut,pear and gorgonzola salad. First of all, I am lactose intolerant. Secondly, who eats pears and walnuts on salad? Rats. Foiled again.

Well at least I added some bells and whistles to my blog today. Check out my music, chihuahua tv channel, the hangman game, and the super-cool pic of Gary Matthews!

Enjoy, and add a calzone to my Christmas wish list. Pookie keeps telling me that Santa is watching; needless to say, I am totally creeped out.
Z.