No luck.

Hello faithful followers. I don't really have the time tonight to write a total account of my day, but I will keep you up to date on my progress with the tree. After sharing a drink with the evergreen, I could not get one word out of it regardless of my bedroom eyes and other methods of persuasion. I am thinking maybe the tree fears the man as I do and is worried that if it leaks information, it may be punished severely. I have seen the man in the backyard cut up and burn other trees for warmth and to conduct a sick ritual where he and the women folk roast sugary white treats over a flame. What compounds the problem is the fact that they never give me any. Hmmpf.

If the tree won't speak and become an ally, I will have to try to find someone else. My keen ears did pick up on a bit of information that could aid my cause; I learned the name of one of the squeaky women who remains a neutral party in my war with the man. Today the man referred to her as "Pookie" (she must be Asian or something), and maybe if I can set up the man, she will take my side and rid this house of his presence. I strengthened our bond today by responding intuitively to her question about whether I had to "pee pee" outside. I know what this means, and only today did I confirm this to her, which caused her to respond with arm flapping and positive words. I think I'm on to something here...please the woman to defeat the man. I must devise a plan to take advantage of this discovery!

Oh! Speaking of the woman, she owes me tremendously to begin with. How could I forget about the broken leg? Remind me to blog you with the details later, for it is a quite horrifying story of pain, suffering, and betrayal.

Updating the bones wars: Zoey 4, Tucker 0.

Until tomorrow.
Z.